madsociety

Thursday, July 14, 2005

What an asshole!

Have you ever just looked at someone and thought "What a fuck'n ass hole that guy is"? I do it, and not infrequently. I'm struggling with what I have called "LOOKISM". I am a lookist. I judge people by their look. If a guy has a mustache without long hair, he is a dickhead in my books. If a middle-aged woman in a business suit has crazy eyeglasses, she is not hip. She was a Bee Gee fan and probably still is. According to me, anyone in public not doing sports, but wearing sweatpants, is too lazy to put on real clothes after rigorous masturbation. Why not just wear your underpants to the corner store?
And then there are the men in suits. Thank God for suits. Can you imagine how some wankers might look if they had to decide what to wear to work? And then there are the people in business attire who need not be, but feel important when they are. I can spot these fuckers at 50 yards. What do you think when you see some buzzcutted, mustached fucker sneaking out the back door of Kentucky Fried Chicken wearing a business suit and trenchcoat? And here's the topper. What if you're watching T.V. and some complete idiot wanker comes on (not the reporter) and you find out he or she is a fucking politician! Well fucking checkmate! "That person would suck the dungballs off of the hind end of a pissing camel, if he thought there was a nickel in it!" is what one would immediately think.
But hold on here. Maybe the old bag in the crazy glasses is really quite nice and actually listens to some Bob Dylan. Maybe she even knows many of the words to his songs. Maybe she is some kind of wierd philanthropist who has given her millions away to breast cancer research! Maybe the guy in sweatpants has some kind of hernia and can't wear regular pants. And just maybe the buzz-cut, mustached dude isn't a cop. Yeah right! That crazy - eyeglassed old slut wouldn't know Bob Dylan from her own clitoris, and that cop would just as soon bust you one in the nuts as say " good day kind gentleman". This would all be too much for the young man in the sweatpants. He would have to immediately return home and spill yet more of his seed on the already dank and dreary carpet in what he calls his "living room".
So I'm pretty confident in my lookist skills (some might say over confident), but the politicians have given me some pause. I happen to know a few politicians. For the most part they are pretty committed, hard-working folks who contrary to popular lookist theory, really do care about what they are doing. Even those buzzcutted, mustached politicians over on the right side of life, I think, believe in doing some good for the people. The vast majority of politicians are good honest people. I am talking about Canada here. Politics is a messy business and can be dirty. There is always some give and take and sometimes to get what you want, you have to take some shit. And then there is the public. Politicians are always accosted by their constituents or others. They must at all times be on. And the mindless dribble they must endure would surely make you want to find that old pair of sweatpants and put them on so you could lower them. Yup, politicians get a rough ride I say. The premier of our province is a good example. He isn't too slick looking. In fact a hard-core lookist might call him a hillbilly in a suit, but he is in charge of a million person corporation called Saskatchewan. He can never be publicly critical and has to fix all that is wrong. The CEO of Cameco recently made about $4 million for a year's work. The city of Regina has over twenty people who make over $100,000. per year. Even our mustache-toting, ex-boxing, box-head mayor makes close to a hundred grand. He is responsible for under 200,000 people. So when our politicians try to give themselves a 4% raise people go nuts. Our premier makes about $125,000 per year. He should have a 75% raise I say. I also say our mayor should be voted out because of his cookie duster, because I am a lookist. I shall remain a lookist. But all lookists should remember that lookism only goes as far as one can see. Until one becomes a hearist and a lookist at the same time, one should maybe keep the judgements on the Q.T. Perhaps if we were all a little more hearest, and not so lookist, our society wouldn't be quite so mad.

6 Comments:

  • I read your rant with great interest and amusement. Enlightening to say the least, But I don't understand why the moustache mayor's Guru, former mayor Larry Sphincter, doesn't have a soup strainer. I suppose he must have ok'd it though. Well thank you sir for brightening my day.

    DROP LOOKISTS & GO UNIVERSISTS

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:20 PM  

  • Sorry Don but I'm sitting here wearing sweats again. In fact I've been wearing them all week -- the same grey sweats I wore the whole time we were at Rowan's Ravine. I must have worn them to Home Depot about 20 times this week and to Safeway and to some 5 star restaurants yadda yadda yadda. Being a fashion god, I'm sure you change clothes 50 times a day and therefore never look out of place. But, for some reason, I just never find the energy.

    I have to admit you're right, though. It's because I can't be bothered to get dressed after vigourous masturbation. Although, to be perfectly honest, it isn't really masturbation -- I've actually been banging your old lady.

    Anyway, everything else you said was bang on. Keep up the good work and give my regards to Mrs. Mad Society.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:39 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Michael Plante, at 9:04 AM  

  • I hear ya on the sweatpants brutha, and the only thing worse than jizz stained sweatpants, is jizz stained sweatpants topped off with a zed zed top shirt and a mullet - sweet.
    I am concerned about your fawning approval for the politicos of our time, and especially that they can vote themselves a raise all the while holding the line on a "zero, one and one" type of mandate from who knows where. Maybe we'd all like to dress like the Rt. Hon. Lorne Calvert, but a zero percent raise will make it tough to afford anything but jizz stained sweats off the second hand racks at Value Village.
    Cheers

    By Blogger Michael Plante, at 9:10 AM  

  • After this posting the Chairman seems to have fallen silent. Perhaps the comments of "Jim" gave him too much to think about.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:44 AM  

  • Whatever happened to Chairman Don? Or was it Chairman Dong? I thought I saw him at the Safeway in his sweats with the drawstring tied real loose so he can show his butt-crack to the stock boys when he bends down to buy the Dr Pepper on the bottom shelf. They were navy sweatpants with mustard stains. Beautiful! I can see why he doesn't have time for Mad Society, what with all the lint he needs to pick off his sweatpants. It's fun and it takes hours.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:47 PM  

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